7 months

Lennon will be 7 months old on Saturday.

I have been back to work for 4 months now, and I still sit at my desk and have pangs of sadness throughout the day because I miss him so much and I want to just grab him and hold him. I want to know what he is doing right now. I want to know if he fussed at his nap time or if he took all of his bottle at once or if he had enough tummy time.

Everyone said it would get better with time, and it has gotten better, but I think something very important happens when you become a mom and your life is extended into another life. I spend more time trying to make him comfortable than trying to make myself comfortable, more time feeding him than feeding myself, more time getting him to sleep than getting myself to sleep, more time entertaining him than entertaining myself. And I love every minute of it. Even when it's hard. So the missing him never goes away when we are apart, and I don't think it is supposed to. It's bittersweet.