Happy Birthday Lennon... and me.

No, we don't have the same birthday, but I feel like the mother ought to be celebrated on the birthday, too. After all, we mothers know what we went through to get to this "birth".

Here we are, at one year, an indescribable year. The pain from not having the natural birth I wanted and ending up with a c-section has faded. The scar from the c-section itself is now flesh-colored, and even the stretch marks have faded to a light silvery-pink.

In a year, I have become a mommy. I don't think I became a mommy the minute he was born. A mother, yes, biologically, and of course I loved him and took care of him, but over the course of a year, I have become a mommy. I was so nervous in the beginning, but now, with confidence, I help him sleep and eat and I kiss his boo boos and I love to play with him and chase him around. This is much, much more than I ever expected of myself in any capacity, and I think it is what I was born for. Who knew?

And still breastfeeding, which is a joy. The way people spoke before he was born, breastfeeding is impossible. Can't be done. No one can breastfeed for a year or more, just not going to happen. But here we are. One year in, and no sign of stopping soon. and I don't even have to pump now, which makes it all the more enjoyable.

Lennon is now such an animated little person. He is pretty emotional, still, but all-in-all much happier now that he was in the early days. He is walking, and even starting to run a little bit. He says mama, dada, uh-oh, and he once said milk, but he hasn't really gotten the hang of that one.

He now has 6 teeth, 2 of which broke through just in the past few days, and 2 of which came through in the past couple of weeks.

He is still struggling with eating table food, but he does ok with cheerios, puffs, and sometimes breads. Last night he munched on some pizza and seemed to like it a lot. Still working on the sippy cup - sometimes he seems to have the hang of it, other times not so much. I'm hoping he will really come to like it soon.

He gives hugs now, which is awesome. I'll be sitting on the floor and hold my arms open, and he will run (orangatan-esque) toward me with open arms, grinning, and throw his arms around my neck. He loves to run around naked. He still loves bath time a lot.

His laugh still makes my heart melt. His smile still lights up a room. I am still overwhelmed on a daily basis by how much I can love another person.

Parenting has, at times, tested my marriage, and I am glad and proud to say that we have come through with flying colors so far. I love my husband even more now than I did before we began this crazy journey.

Lennon and his brother, Brett, have become big pals. Lennon adores Brett, and Brett (16) has really opened up and enjoys playing with his little brother. The two of them are quite a fun pair to watch.

Lennon also loves the animals. He chases the dog around with a rawhide chew trying to convince her to take it. He "pets" Kabuki, and they are pretty good pals. Vegas is kind of oblivious.

And outside, we have a blizzard. We will always remember Lennon's first birthday as the day if the SECOND blizzard of 2010. We had to postpone his party, but it's just as well - it will be just the 4 of us, and Mark's dad may come by for a while since he lives next door. It will be a family affair, and that's fine by me. We can part later.

What a wonderful year. Hard and frustrating and exhausting and exhilarating.